some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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