Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize