i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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