if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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