the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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