Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
