if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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