Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
