I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
BRING THE BAGELS
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
