I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
