I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize