captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
