we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
