she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Terrible idea I love it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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