Need sex. Gaining weight.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
