i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
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I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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