Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize