i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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