get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
