Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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