omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
