so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
