She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
