is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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