i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
