and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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