I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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