Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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