i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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