wakey wakey hands off snakey
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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