what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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