dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
