Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
