okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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