how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
