Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
