The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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