My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...