Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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