You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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