i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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