South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
