I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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