Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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