Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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