Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
