'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
