Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
