Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize