What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
