he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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