If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
