no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
