Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
