I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
