Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
