the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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