Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
