her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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