i just wanna soil my oats bro
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
