just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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