Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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